Artsy Fartsy

The day in which everything went pear shaped.

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:41:28 GMT

So, as it goes thursdays suck ass. Busy as fuck and absolutely chock full of dumbasses that don't know where the hell they're going. It was the invasion of the over-perfumed middle-aged women that talk very loudly to each other and take forever in the bathroom!

Ahem. Then the day got really bad.

I didn't know anything was wrong until big ugly pushed his half rotten face up against the glass of the front window of the store, right in front of the sign that ready 'do not block window'. The pumps are filled, there's people queuing up, rv's trundling everywhere, the credit card machine stops working, the phone line is busy and the ATM is out of money.

Fucking figures.

Some woman standing in line starts screaming and everyone starts making noise. Before you know it, everyone's cleared out of the store, all but two people that look like they're not feeling real well.
Mel's freaking out because people are taking off in their cars left and right without paying... even the RV went out of the lot over the curb! They even lost the bicycles off the back.

Big ugly in the window breaks the glass and tries to climb inside. He smells like something that's been lying dead in a ditch for a few weeks!
I grab Mel and pull her around the counter and grab one of the cookie sheets and hand it to her. The two others in the store were walking towards us and I told her not to let them get a hold of her.

I make her head for the door, the cookie sheets worked good to hold them off and make it out to our cars. That's when she started shouting about forgetting her purse in the store. I tell her I'll go back to get them.
Before doing so, I go into the trunk of my car and grab the fire ax I keep there and go back in.
I hit big ugly in the head as I'm going by and he flops over like a bag of rotten apple sauce.

The other two are right in the doorway when I reach it. Two more whacks with the ax and I'm through, a little messy but fine. I grab her purse and head back out. I actually thought about locking up, but then I remembered the shattered window.

Whatever. melinda screams from out in the lot and I see another big ugly chasing her around the cars.
Fucking figures.

I run back across the parking lot and hit it with the ax and it falls down, but keeps trying to get at her so I hit it a few more times before it lies still.

I toss her her purse and watch as she tears out of the parking lot. I figure this isn't good and decide to go and make sure my friends are okay.

I make it to Em's store and there's a few of the big uglies wandering around in the lot. I do a slow drive by and see blood all over the inside of the window and hope it isn't Em's.

Crossing my fingers I drive back up the hill and park out front of her apartment building and run inside. I bring my ax. I bang on the door a few times before she yanks it open.
She smells like booze. She looks me up and down and tells me I look like I walked through a slaughterhouse. I tell her likewise.

She lets me inside and tells me about how she had to kill one of her regular customers before she decided to go home, watch tv and drink some bushmills.

freaking crazy. I ask if she's going to go in to work tomorrow and we laugh our asses off.

I think we're going to go and see if KC's at work.

I'll update again if I still have a signal... and if I'm still alive.

In which a boat made my day.

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:35:44 GMT

Around twelve thirty this afternoon a fullsize pickup truck pulled into the parking lot towing a good sized boat. It even had this nice cover over the top to keep shit off of it. Across the back of the boat is it's name in GIGANTIC letters. It's called 'MY FAULT'. I wait patiently for the couple to come inside then as who came up with the name for their boat. The woman replies, "My husband was going through his divorce... what money he got from it he used to buy a boat. He figured the whole mess was 'his fault' he'd name the boat just that." That was awesome. Secondly, spoke to the landlady on monday... got a 'very good' from her on the state of the house. Booya old lady!

Dick jokes?

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:50:18 GMT

This actually happened only moments before I left work today.

A customer at the counter asks for a certain brand of cigarettes. We are completely out of said brand. he then asks if we have 100's of the same flavor. We do!

My co worker grabs the soft pack 100's and tosses them on the counter with the comment 'Gonna smoke a long soft one...'

There is the pause in conversation as all involved wonders 'did I hear that right?' The customer starts laughing, yours truly a heartbeat later, then my co worker cracks too.

I love moments like these... especially on a monday!

Good things come in threes!

Mon, 04 May 2009 21:22:39 GMT

Today I saw three people I haven't seen in a while.
First was Carolyn. Of the three people I see her the most often.

Second was Adam. I see him infrequently at best. The last time I ran into him was last summer.

Third was Jamie. I haven't seen her in something like four or five years. To put it mildly I was thrilled. Woot!

Something else to be happy about! I have scored a copy of the Dark Crystal! Booya!

My sister also turned up and gave me a few pins she found at Penguicon. One was simply the umbrella corporation logo, the second and third were Zombie related.

Monday so far has kicked this year's ass!

Fucked up week

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:39:31 GMT

Stupid stuff keeps happening up here in the great white north.

As most of you know, we got over a foot of snow on monday and tuesday. Wet and heavy it made driving horribly dangerous. How did this affect my job?
Directly, not at all. Wednesday I discovered the ceiling of the bank located in the car mall had a roof collapse that dumped water all down through the light fixtures. I turn up per the norm to get change and deposit receipts. Oh, they're closed.
I go to Lincoln street and ask Em if she needs change. She doesn't but calls my change order in instead. What a peach!
I go get the change order, the teller manager mistakes me for my sister, which is funny in itself since I was picking up the change called in from my old store. I wait as they count my deposits and depart back to Lincoln street.
I go back to my store after an hour of fucking around with the banks. I learn later that day that the dep. bags at the damaged bank were switched to the Washington street branch.
Okay. I'll go there on thursday so I can catch up on my paperwork.

I go to washington street branch on thursday and discover the mall bank has re-opened and they sent my bags back to them. I have them count my newest deposits and head to the other bank to retrieve my bags and get back to my store safely.

MuttermutterMUTTER!

This job sucks in exactly the way you don't want it to.

Mmmm, foodbourne illness

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:23:56 GMT

It's a wonder anyone can eat anything prepared by someone else after taking this course on food preparation and safety. The really ishy part of this is most cases of food poisoning come from some slobby bastard that wipes his ass with his fingers then prepares your food!

Yish. Awful. I'm writing this two days after the fact. Food safety training is 90 percent common sense, the next 8percent is memorizing safe holding temperatures the last two is simply having enough willpower to stay awake for the whole damn thing.

Three hours in the car, eight hours for the training course, three ten minute breaks and a half hour for lunch... the only thing that can be said for it... I didn't wait on a single customer on Thursday.

Hopefully I passed the test and won't have to again for a very long time.

Holy crap!

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:47:55 GMT

Rise hard drive! Rise and live again! Or lurch about and eat the brains of the living...
Somehow my external hard drive was faith healed! On a lark I plugged the bugger back in and holy crap! My computer realized it suddenly had an extra three hundred gigs of space available!

Woot! something good finally happened!

Farewell Stargate...

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:32:32 GMT

So, I was there when they ended SG-1, I was there when they released the two SG-1 Movies to button up the plots that were left hanging.
I was there when they ended Atlantis... I'm still not sure if they're going to make a movie to close it up...
So, I was there when they posted the teaser for the new edition... Stargate Universe...
Hmmm, not sure about this one. I did see Robert Carlyle in the trailer as well as Lou Diamond Phillips... I hate to say this about the guy... usually when he turns up in a show for a permanent roll, it spells doom for the show.

I don't have high hopes.

Week of hell... day four.

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:36:05 GMT

Lessee, lets start with monday morning. The temperature was about -20 and when I went outside to start my car I discovered the battery was dead. Goodie!
I contemplated who I could call at five thirty in the morning... Dennis! He'll pick up! The phone rings until the answering machine picks up. I leave a message and hang up. Hmmm, who else can I call? Jimmy! I call and he picks up after the fourth ring. I ask him for a jump and he agrees. We hang up and I go to brush my teeth. Before I can reach the bathroom the phone rings. I pick up and it's Dennis! Apparently he hadn't been able to catch the phone because he couldn't find it in the dark. I tell him to go back to bed because our cousin was gonna come over.

Jimmy shows up about ten minutes later and I found out he'd needed a jump earlier that morning himself. I found out that he woke up Emily around midnight to see if she wanted to hang out. Apparently he'd been home for about an hour when I called. Whoops!

Anyway, I get on the road about quarter after six and decided to give Em a ride to work. It was waaaay too cold to walk. Anyway, I pass her apartment and head to her store. I didn't see her and the lights weren't on at her store. Whoops again! I swing back by her place and run inside. Yep, she's late too. I drop her off and head to my store and open. The day went by in pleasant fashion. My sister called and asked me if I could drive her to work because the heater in her car isn't working.

I get out of work and run over to her place and discover not only is her car malfunctioning but she is also quite sick. Sheesh! Some warning might be nice. Anyway I run her to work and decide I want to get lunch. Sooooo back over to Emily's! Whoosh!

I get there and knock. No reply. I knock again. No reply. I can hear the television going so I try the door. It's not locked! Ha ha! I make quite a lot of noise coming inside, including calling out to her and stomping my feet. I take off my shoes and discover she's out cold on her futon. I contemplate for a moment if I should tickle her ear. I decide after a moment not to and settle on shaking her shoulder. Yeah, it scared the hell out of her. Funny though.

She wanted to go to lunch, and would wait for KC to get back. She arrived and we decided on Bonanza. On our way out to the car KC realizes she left her wallet in her coat which is inside of Em's apartment. She goes back inside for it and discovers the door is locked. She comes back out, taking little tiny geisha steps to avoid slipping on the ice. She makes it all the way to my car before she SLIPS on the ICE! she hits the ground and starts laughing madly and saying over and over 'that was EPIC!' Em then goes back inside to get KC's wallet. She comes back out and yells at KC for having bought a new pack of ciggs. She's supposed to be quitting. We get to lunch, run into Em's sister and her bf at Bonanza.

We eat lunch and I drop them off and head home. It's around five by this point. Just as I'm climbing the stairs to my house my Dad pulls in. We go inside and I turn on my computer and discover it isn't functioning properly. Very shortly after discovering this the phone rings. It's Laurie calling to tell me she found someone to take the rest of her shift and is asking if she can get a ride home from me. I'd just gotten home, my computer was acting up and I'd just given her a rid TO work. I said no.

I fucked around with my computer for a little while and gave up. Paranoid about my battery draining in the cold again I start my car and let it run for about ten minutes before going to bed. I set my alarm for 1:30 in the morning and get up again to turn the engine over. I let it run for ten minutes again before going back to bed.

When my alarm goes off again at five thirty my efforts paid off. My car started just fine. I was still in a bit of a snit over the problems with my computer all day. Em calls me shortly after I get home and we go and have the most yummy cake ever! Butter cream frosting with a layer of chocolate cake, a layer of cheese cake then another layer of chocolate cake. Delish! I go home and ignore my computer. Wednesday rolls around and Luke shows up at the store and a brilliant idea occurs! I Ask him to fix my computer.

I buy him lunch and he fiddles around with my computer and we discover not only do I have twenty seven viruses on my computer but I also have a trojan that looks like a MS virus protection warning. Yeah, suxors. But about a half hour later and several scans later, my computer is working again! Teh yay!

Now here we are on thursday... waiting for something else to go wrong.

Yeesh.

EDIT: When I thought it was safe to go home on friday I was wrong! Apparently some douche bag backed his vehicle up into the building and hit the payphone. It doesn't end there. It also caught fire. My co-worker reacted with the speed of a trained professional and grabbed the fire extinguisher from beside the door and put it out. Apparently the truck didn't have brakes. The best part, despite the fact the truck didn't have brakes and caught fire, the two men that were in the truck decided to take off before anything could be done.
Assholes.

Prince:3 - Kelly: Zilch

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:00:06 GMT

I can't seem to escape it! I was reading 'Sinfest' the sunday comic... I thought I recognized the lyrics... then I remembered the last time I heard the song... back almost ten years... when 1998 turned into 19...199... CRAP! I can't say it!

Curse you Prince!

OH MY GOD! MAKE IT STOP!

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:35:28 GMT

It has been snowing all bloody week! We've had one day where no snow fell, the rest of the time it's snowing so bloody hard you can't see the building across the street! We got between ten and fifteen inches the first storm and in the midst of the same one ripping through two days later another foot at least! One would think the bloody storm dumped its load on the first go-around, but noooo! Lets give these buggers more lake effect snow!
*shakes fist at the sky* It wouldn't bother me so much but I don't have the best car for baja-ing around in foot deep ruts. *mutters bitterly* JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!

Stolen from Lady Brooks!

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:16:22 GMT

If you saw me in a police car, what would you think I got arrested for? Answer, then if you want, post to your own journal and see how many crimes you get accused of.

(Try to post yours without looking at other comments first.)

This just seems like it could be such great fun! Show me yours and I'll show you mine!

Terry Pratchett!!!!!

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:11:19 GMT

So I picked up Pratchett's new book 'Nation'. It's the first one that I've read does not take place in Discworld.

The plot so far is one we're all familiar with on some level or another. A tsunami wipes out Mau's entire village and he through sheer luck, survives.
The beginning is horrid. Excellent reading don't get me wrong, just heartbreaking. He details how the boy shuts down so he can lay all of the dead villagers to rest and keep himself alive at the same time.

I'm only fifty or so pages in, and I can see already it's going to be a good one.

Even more crappiness.

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:10:18 GMT

Bad week.

Spilled coffee.
Inappropriate sarcasm.
Badly timed phone calls.
Crashed POS servers.
Scrammed modem.
Death in the family.

Fuck off Murphy.

Too funny!

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:15:43 GMT

1 minute, 9 seconds

Now I say! Whodaman?

The next level of suck!

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:15:00 GMT

So, a week and a half after getting better from the first cold I got, the pink eye and overall crappyness, my sister brings her sick daughter into my store. For the week or so where I'm horribly toxic, I don't see either of them. I get better. She brings her sick daughter into my work place... apparently she doesn't have to worry about her daughter making other people sick.
Yes I know, I'm being a total bitch about this, but damn it all, two colds in three fucking weeks? Thanks world! Thanks for giving a flaming shit!

Grade A suck

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:19:28 GMT

Lets start with last Saturday morning. I woke up with a very mild sore throat. It didn't do much until the next friday. I woke up and it hurt. I was suddenly congested and my ear ache came back.
Lets jump to twenty minutes before I leave work. The credit card machine goes down. I get on the phone to get it fixed when the power goes out. Holy crap! It comes back on thirty seconds later and two pumps go down. Wow! Twenty minutes later the credit card machine is fixed, and the power has gone off and come back on three other times. It's ten minutes past the time to go home. I spend the next twenty on the phone trying to fix the gas pumps.
That done, it's quarter to three. The rest of the day goes fine.
Saturday morning I wake up, sicker then hell and my left eye has gone all goopy and bloodshot.
All I can say is I hope it's not pink eye.

Bloody hell.

EDIT: Yup. It was pink eye. Em talked me into going to the ER where they went, yup, you have pink eye, give us 100 dollars. At least I have antibacterial eye drops now.

So not a pirate!

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:39:16 GMT

I am a dyed-in-the-wool Amazon shopper. I love the site! I download my few tv shows the day after they air and pay two dollars a pop instead of paying a monthly bill for cable.
The only issue is the downloading takes up a lot of memory. Which brings me to the new little do-hicky they have on there now. It's "watch it now' and I love it! No downloading any more! No waiting all fucking day because I have dsl! It streams from Amazon onto my screen when I want to watch it with no memory being eaten up!

Thank you amazon! You finally took the step I was waiting for!

On another note, I've caught a cold for the first time in almost three years. It's not so bad, just uncomfortable and annoying as hell.

Whoa! Here's a new one!

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:57:25 GMT

http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/new-game-enemy-takes-a-solid-day-to-defeat/1238418

And I thought playing all day was a challenge! This is crazy! Bad Square/Enix! No cookie!

Hmmm...

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:13:26 GMT

Here's one. Please participate people!

If your heart beat was a song, what would it be?

Mine is 'Kaneda' which is track 1 of the Akira soundtrack.

Stress? What's that?

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 23:49:37 GMT

So, apparently having lots of people at my house for a few days is okay. Having a few more people for more than a week is a little stressful...
having people in your living space for nearly two weeks and a job that grosses more than twenty grand a day... that's more stress then I'm used to.

At first I thought I had a tooth ache on the left side of my mouth, then I realized the pain jumps from my upper to lower jaw. Then I realized I've been stressing so much that I've been clenching my teeth while I sleep. Now it hurts to chew. Fun, fun.

I need a new job I think.

29.1.6.28.08

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:19:35 GMT

So, the day came and went and I have three new books to show for it. Two were from my brother, one from my dad. I've finished the one titled 'Storm Front'. I curse his name!

Damn you Dennis! I'm debating weather I'd like to start the next one before I go to bed... hrmmm...
I can see myself in two more days hitting the bookstores, looking for more of them! And he said the first two were the worst ones! Well how do you like that? I enjoyed the hell out of the first one and have high hopes for the next nine!

Lessee, Coco's has good food... awesome soup and a pretty good bartender.

Lesson of the day... don't undertake a creative task with my sister! Not unless she has a solid idea of what she wants! Or you will be doomed to comments that require you to completely re-work what she asked you to draw five minutes earlier!

*nudge nudge*

Ichi the Killer

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:01:31 GMT

So, I sat down on my couch on sunday afternoon and said, 'Ichi, do your worst.'

Boy did it ever. I have never seen so much random violence in my entire life! Horribly graphic violence some of which was caused by Tadanobu Asano who sported a full glasgow smile held closed at the corners of his mouth by a couple of rings. I didn't wince that much except for the parts where the poor bastard wakes up suspended from the floor by more than a dozen hooks in his skin... that wasn't the part that made me wince... it was the boiling oil that made me wince. Ouch.

Then there was the random moments of laugh out loud goofiness of Ichi killing a guy by literally kicking him in half with a tiny-ass blade that pops out of the heel of his shoe.

The other part... *shudders* A random woman having her nipples put in clamps, stretched way out then cut off... ouch again...

Ichi the Killer is not a movie to be taken lightly, not for the faint of heart, or for those with a sensitive gag reflex.

There are two lessons to be learned from this movie...
One: If you are bullied when you are a kid, get over it! Don't let it ruin your life!

Two: If your are the bully, knock it off! You never know when the kids you bullied may come back to take their revenge!

Job?

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:50:57 GMT

I've decided my job is like a party on a tin roof, and the customers are the downstairs neighbors.

New accomplishment, ten days of paper done in two shifts! Go me!

So crap is still just crap.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 01:05:47 GMT

Besides being horribly rollercoaster this last couple of weeks and unwittingly taking it out on my co-workers, I think I actually hurt my dad's feelings.

I've never seen him change the subject so quickly before. All because I had a dream about getting into another fight with Psycho and taking a giant wet bite out of her arm. Fucking good riddance to the mewling whore who couldn't make a friend out of clay because it would hiss at her and crawl away because it knows what true evil is when it sees it.

I want to get the fuck out of dodge! At this rate I'm going to have my entire body tattooed by the end of the year!

I just watched 'A Bittersweet Life' and I liked it quite a bit. That Korean cinema has been surprisingly good as of the last few years.

I need a new job. I need a new brain. I need to not need money. I need the world to be slapped and shaken back to its senses because I just can't take the fucking complaining any more!